


'Yes, Uncle'

by melancholicpie



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Heavy mentions of The Regent, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mentions of past child sexual abuse, mentions of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 13:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20967161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholicpie/pseuds/melancholicpie
Summary: "He wouldn’t think about it. He wouldn’t think about it at all.Laurent would go days - weeks - without the slightest memory of The Regent and everything that happened between them. Weeks without reminding himself that his own uncle was responsible for the worst six years of his life. He didn’t have to think about it.Except sometimes he did. And sometimes he would think about it when he wasn’t supposed to, like when he was with Damen."





	'Yes, Uncle'

**Author's Note:**

> One of my favorite artists is definitely @linecrosser with their amazing CaPri expressive lines. They gave me the idea for this angsty drabble with [this piece](https://alinecrosser.wordpress.com/2018/12/01/breath-it-is-just-me/) that I find both incredibly touching and delicate, so… yeah. Thank you for allowing me to do this!

He wouldn’t think about it. He wouldn’t about it at all.

Laurent would go days - weeks - without the slightest memory of The Regent and everything that happened between them. Weeks without reminding himself that his uncle was responsible for the worst six years of his life. He didn’t have to think about it.

Except sometimes he did. And sometimes he would think about it when he wasn’t supposed to, like when he was with Damen.

Damen never pushed the subject and so Laurent never felt like talking about The Regent, because there was no reason to. Laurent felt so happy now, so safe, so - so - in love, therefore why would he want to ruin everything by bringing The Regent up?

It’s just… just… there are times he thinks he should. Because there are moments when Damen has him in bed fully naked, fully vulnerable, and Laurent is just ready to let Damen in again until Damen without knowing does something he shouldn’t have done.

It’s always small, inconspicuous, at times incredibly silly, but it happens. When it happens Laurent can’t do anything but think about it all over again and it’s almost like it’s happening at that very moment. As if The Regent would emerge from whatever hole his rotted corpse was buried into and show up to see him like this – naked and vulnerable – again. A wrong grip, a little bit tighter than normal. A movement, a little bit faster or a face a little more eager. It's nothing, and yet Laurent’s heart starts pounding against his ribcage.

Normally Laurent can repress the feeling, remind himself everything is good, and he has no reason to panic anymore.

Until Damen does a thing that isn’t as minor as a wrong grip or a faster movement. It was a whisper and it felt major. A whisper using words The Regent used to say in hoarse voice when Laurent was only thirteen. 

“Laurent,” Damen said, in his position between Laurent’s legs “you look so beautiful like this,” and suddenly Laurent couldn’t breathe.

He froze in spot, trying so hard to drag the air back into his lungs. His mind was emptied and all he had left was the lost memory of the first time he ever heard these same words, said exactly like that with that same unmistakable sign of desire in a quite similar situation.

His first instinct is to kick Damen, punch him, scratch him, free himself from his grip and get out of there as fast as he possibly could. But he’s Damen, not The Regent and Laurent didn’t want to hurt Damen, did he? Then he thought he’d just run away to never come back, but this isn’t fair either and it isn’t right - Laurent tries to remind himself he wouldn’t find another place he’d feel quite as safe as he feels around Damen, so he decides just to stay completely still, trying hard not to start trembling.

“What’s wrong?” Damen asks with a concerned face as he realizes, quickly, that Laurent tensed up “Laurent, what’s wrong?” he repeats and moves his hands from their place on Laurent’s thighs to an attempted touch on Laurent’s cheeks, but Laurent dodges from the touch unconsciously.

He can’t think of anything else. He can hear the voice of The Regent by his ear in that horrible quarter that used to be his father’s, mostly dark, illuminated by the warm light coming from the fireplace. The feeling of helplessness, the fear, the tears he was trying to hold back, the loss of his mother, brother and father still aching in his chest and the Regent’s face, all the family Laurent had left, with dark blue eyes and an evil smile when he said, sounding like a curse “Laurent, you look so beautiful like this."

"Laurent?” Damen asks more quietly.

It takes Laurent all the strength he has to say “get - off - me - please."

"My love,” Damen doesn’t move.

“Please,” Laurent let out a dry sob “please get off me… please, Damen."

Cautiously Damen moves aside, careful not to touch but still close enough so Laurent could reach him if he wanted to. But Laurent didn’t want to. Not now at least.

“Laurent, breathe,” Damen tries to reach for Laurent and once again, but once again Laurent moves away. Damen frowns “Laurent, – my love – it’s just me. Just breathe, it’s me.”

As the memories and the words play repeatedly in his head, Laurent drags the sheets up, trying his best to cover every inch of his stupidly white skin. His effort to keep himself from shaking didn’t pay off and Laurent watched his unstable grip on the sheets. ‘Breathe’ Damen said. Right!, as if he could.

They remain completely quiet for a period that feels like the eternity, Laurent wrapped in white fabric and conscious that Damen’s look never left him once. “He used to say that to me,” Laurent finally says.

“What?” Damen uses an equally quiet tone.

“The first time he…” Laurent feels the words getting trapped in his throat “The Regent. The first time,” he said simply “he said that to me. ‘Laurent, you look so beautiful like that’ like a predator or something. He’d always say that before he…” he swallows and again can’t bring himself to say the words “Just like you said it.”

Damen stays silent briefly. “I had no idea.”

“I know. You couldn’t know.”

“I’m so sorry,” Damen says sounding alarmed “Laurent, I’m so sorry. If I knew… If I knew I’d never…”

“I know,” Laurent finally brings himself to face Damen again “I know you wouldn’t.”

Laurent notices then how miserable Damen looks at this moment. “Hey,” he forces himself to say “It’s okay.”

“Well, it isn’t,” Damen replies, “I think we should probably discuss this at some point if you like. What your uncle did to you, that is.”

Laurent considers this for a moment. “Yes. Yes, we should. Eventually. Not now, though. I can’t, right now.”

Laurent would give the subject some thought since he needed to. He couldn’t talk to Damen about it before visiting his feelings. He figured he couldn’t simply not-think about it and risk dragging them both to a similar situation in the future, being too stressful to himself – and Damen who was now so obviously feeling guilty and concerned.

“We could just sleep tonight?” Laurent suggests hesitantly.

“Of course,” is Damen’s immediate answer, and then after a quick ponderation “I’d like to hold you if it’s alright?”

Laurent pauses. “Yes,” he decides “I’d like that.”

Laurent and Damen find a comfortable position with Laurent’s head resting in Damen’s bare, warm chest. “You know I’d never do anything you don’t want to, don’t you?” Damen says suddenly.

Laurent smiles. “I know.”

“Good,” sounding relieved “good.”

Laurent and Damen talk for a while, quietly and with ease, about incredibly unimportant subjects until Damen starts humming instead of answering and Laurent knows he’s about to fall asleep.

Still mostly awake, Laurent takes in the moment and the feeling that, again, he’s safe, he’s happy and so in love with the man lying underneath him.

Laurent didn’t have to think about it now, he figured. He could think about it the next morning and every day after that, but not right now. Right now Laurent would just fall asleep inside the safe embrace of the man he loves.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally on Tumblr, on my blog [here](https://damianosismyking.tumblr.com/search/yes%2C+uncle)
> 
> Say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://damianosismyking.tumblr.com)


End file.
